Birthday
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Damn by Matchbox Twenty
Topic: Messages to Dad

At 5 AM, I am official one year older. I promised myself that I would be nicer to people and I did try, though more often than not, I realized that people only walk over you if you are nice. Or they think I am coming on to them. What is wrong with people?

I actually read a big chunk of last year's gift from yakiudonfiend and phia. It's some serious dry reading. Plus it was written in the 1600s, so the verbage takes time to wade through. I added many books to my Rifts collection. I know you don't care much about that. But honestly, if I were going to go Satanist, it would have nothing to do with Rifts.

I now have 2 dogs that I never wanted. I still have Amber. She still hates me, though she's been really nice to me over the last week. I wonder what she did. I guess I better start sniffing my clean cloths.

I am driving a minivan and my friend Galen just loves it because one of my "old" pastimes was to insult the drivers of minivans. Now I have been robbed of the joy of driving. Ok, I still yell at traffic. I still look for the crackerjack boxes that these people are getting their licenses out of. Damn, I would like to not have to pay to make the change over.

I am proud of the fact that I do not have flabby upper arms. I know those plague a lot of women. I am still very certain that I could beat a murder wrap because I still look innocent and stupid. Though I think I look the most idiotic when I'm thinking. Ironic. I have been yelled at repeatedly by Phia for wearing a perma-grin. I guess a vacant smile creeps her out. I'm not surprised because she isn't the only one.

What else is there to say? Oh, you probably know by now that Mack passed away. The bitch never even said anything to us. Currycat2000 called up and told us. Then he harassed us about another death. Finally, he realized we weren't acting stupid and he told us that Tuffy had died from congestive heart failure. I guess Mei Mei caused that too. Too bad she was perfectly healthy when we were down their. The vet just gave us the ointment because I was all freaked out. I must be some kind of doggy hypocondriac.

On a sidenote, I was very relieved when the results of her eating all those gummi bears was just a little constipation. The vet's office know her not by her name, but by her gummi fetish. I know you are not interested in dogs, and you probably would have been mean to her, but I love her dearly. I still can't figure out why though. Now there's Gus. Currycat2000 and Isaisabrat insist on calling him Gustav. I have to agree, Gus just does not fit him. He's a little more complex than a three letter name. Just a little.

What else is there to say? I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. But I did want to give you an update. Oh, I miss you.

The Trip Home
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Josh
Topic: Life

After spending a visit in the crappy burg of Nampa and Boise, ID, we headed home. The roads through Idaho, while being bumpy and ill-maintained, were fast. We left that state behind very quickly. However, before we reached Blue Mountain, the snow started. We followed a darling hauling a CFS box at 45-50 miles per hour. I felt like him knew what he was doing and so I stayed close so that his tremendous bulk could blaze a trail for me. The truck did a fine job and even managed to get us up to 65 in some places (that is the speed limit on I-84 in Oregon).

 After a while, the snow cleared and we left our trailblazer far behind. After a couple hours of swift flight (yes, I exceeded the speed limit every chance I got), we came upon a flashing sign that declared that trucks need to use chains in 15 miles. I was terrified. I hate snow and ice because of the uncertainty. Anyway, 15 miles later, the trucks were all pulled over, or just pulling out after chaining up. The regular cars weren't required. When we reached the ice sheet, I honestly wished I had pulled off and donned our chains. Mom cursed her decision to not bring her truck with it's studded tires..... then she yelled at me about not signing up for Allstate's Auto Club. I still can't figure out when she told me she wanted it in the first place.

I slid a couple feet and my heart went into my throat. I don't usually drive in snow. The last time I did, my mother (with my father in the passenger seat) ended up putting her truck on it's side and we (Angelbrokenwingz and I) had to rescue them. It was scarey. I only had a little four cylinder Dakota and they were the one in trouble with a 4x4 Dodge Ram. I hate snow.

Anyway, we finally made it home, and I am trying to do all the stuff I missed for five days because the crappy motel we stayed at had internet difficulties (but only when I wanted online).

An More Recent Entry
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: As Heaven is Wide by Garbage
Topic: Messages to Dad

Mom told me that the doctor who crippled you was forced to retire from practice. His insurance got too expensive. Apparently his wife gave an interview regarding his retirement. I know you are glad to hear that. I just wish you'd been able to get a pound of his flesh before you left.

 I am working on a spiffy set of t-shirt designs. Eventually I want to learn to silk screen them myself, but until then, I am putting them up on Cafe Press. I'll throw in a link when I get the shop filled and open.

 Angelbrokenwingz is doing great. Her boss loves her. The shop guys love her. She bullies the guys that pick on one of her shop boys. I think it's great that she has friends and gets along with other people. She is still defiant with people in authority whom she does not respect, but she's getting better.

Mom is having trouble with one of her legs. She complains about her hip hurting, but flat out refuses to use the stationery bike she bought. She also refused to walk the lake with me. I just don't know what to do with her. I rat her out to the doctor every chance I get. When the crocodile hunter died, I think she cried more for him than for you. But she misses you nonetheless.

 He still asks me if I smoke everytime I go in. He remembers you every time I sit up on his bench. I know I don't look that much like you, but I find that your doctor remembering you is a great comfort.

Phia and yakiudonfiend started a business of their own. It was this move on their part that prompted me to get on the t-shirts. They are staying out of the red and working on expanding. They have to pay the little troglodyte child support. I am absolutely pissed, but Phia says that she accepts it. It makes their requests for more visitation very valid. They might even get weekends and holidays! Eventually, the state WILL reunite them and that is Phia's plan. She works hard to manage yakiudonfiend's more volatile personality. Oh yeah, she's healing up nicely since getting run over by her work truck. She'll be back to work soon!

 currycat2000 and isaisabrat are pretty much the same. They seem like they are stagnating. Maybe that's what they need.

 Nothing else news worthy is happening here. I'll let you rest in peace for now. And hopefully, I won't notice any more glaring grammatical errors!

Long Overdue
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: Messages to Dad
Around December 3rd, mom had a stroke. Not a TIA like before. Anyway, she was in the hospital for a long time because it was bad. But the doctor says she is fully recovered even though she is really shakey on her feet and has to use her walker now.

Angelbrokenwingz returned for the holidays on the 16th of December. She was snarly and obnoxious the whole time she was here. I told her if her attitude didn't perk up, I was going to make sure that her friend never visited. Needless to say, that never happened. She was worse then ever. Maybe she should stay over in Idaho for her spring break. I don't know if I can deal with the stress.

An apartment by yakiudonfiend and Fia opened up after Angelbrokenwingz returned. Since it has a washer dryer hookup, mom jumped on it. We spend the last days of December packing. The old place still isn't cleaned out. I am working at it. But we are already living here at the new apartment. Currycat2000 was pissed, but I hate bronchitis and mom needed to get out of that slum-hell.

Yesterday Lucy attacked me. I was trying to dry him off and he rolled over and laid into my left hand just below my knuckle. I shook it to get him off, but in the end, I grabbed hold of his head and ripped my hand away. Lucky for me he only grabbed the skin and not my tendon. Right now, Lucy is on day 2 of his 10 day quarantine before Animal Services puts him to sleep. They have to make sure he doesn't have rabies because Tumwater Veterinary Clinic told them on the phone that they had no record of Lucy being seen there. Of course, they were the vet clinic we always took him to. I hate them. Anyway, I am now on antibiotics and the doctor, who charged $80, wants me to get a tetanus shot. Adding insult to injury, Thurston County Health wants me to pay an office visit fee of $34 and also charge $35 for the tetanus shot. Screw them. I just won't get the stupid shot. It's just too damn expensive! If I die who cares?! Fuckers.

Angelbrokenwingz
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Nada
Topic: Messages to Dad
Well, she off in the universe now. She took that large first step into the great unknown of life. She's in Idaho right now. I know that you'd be proud of her.

Currycat2000 heckled her the whole last month she was here, but I told her to just let it roll off. Fia wanted to go with us to SeaTac to see her off, but she ended up having to work. She was really bummed about it. The drive up was smooth. We were there ahead of time (is that humanly possible for us?). We all had an easy time waking up and getting ready. I take it all as a sign that she is doing the right thing. The munchkin told me she was pleasantly surprised to find out how many people were excited and proud of her. I know you rank amoung them.

She went through airport security without any fan fare and fuss. Then she was gone. She travels with everyone's love and good wishes. And now I will wait for her to email me. I'll let you know how it goes.

Today seemed as good a day as any to update my near-never-updated blog. My grandmother died recently. No more grandparents exist for me anymore. I don't know how I feel about it either. I was truely surprised when I found out she passed away. I guess I thought she would die closer to the holidays. Guess that's it for now.

Sorry
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Nada
Topic: Messages to Dad
It's been more than a year since you left this life. I still have that same feeling that any moment you are going to meander through the front door and say that it was all a mistake. Like you went somewhere and were hiding from us all. And maybe in a way you did.

I am sure that before you went you looked back over your life and knew that it was not the life you imagined for yourself when you were much younger. Life seldom works out the way we want. Dreams and goals change, become twisted. The life we lead seems so different from the life we wanted to have. I'm sorry that your life was not as you dreamed.

I'm sorry that you are gone. All I can say is that I am glad that I told you I loved you when I had the chance. I am glad that I don't have remorse about saying something mean and not having the chance to correct the mistake. I'm sorry that you were not as coherent as you would have liked at the end. I'm sorry that you were miserable with pain. I'm sorry someone hasn't killed that doctor that caused you to be miserable with pain. I'm sorry that it was lung cancer that took you from this life.

I hate the word sorry because it conveys no remorse. No feeling. No sensation. People chant it as though it will make everything better, but it does not. Sorry makes me angry. And condolences anger me too. But it seems that everything angers me these days.

I feel remorse over not having you longer. I hope you have found the peace you deserve.

Stalled
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Lucy Purring
Topic: Life
I feel stalled. Like I've hit my rubicon. What can I say? I like the word.

My mother bought me the Book of Thoth a short while ago. Reading it has caused me to come to the limits of my poor brain. I know I should understand some of it, but I just can't get it yet. Hopefully with time I'll be able to figure it out.

I need a job. I need a job. I need a job. My monster resume has finally timed out. Good, it never did me any good to put something up there. Guess I will go to one of those work first sites and see if I can't find something. ANYTHING!!! Ok, not anything, MacDonald's is definitely out of the question.

General Slacking
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Eukanuba Dog Show blaring in the other room.
Topic: Life
We went on a road trip from hell. We've been back for about two weeks? Well, that's close enough! Anyway, I decided it was time to turn my attention from Gaia Online and all the forum crap therein and begin concentrating on my site again. I have some ideas, but they are all still locked in my head.

Tomorrow we are going out to Lorrin's house. He lost a little banty chicky recently. They went out to check on the feathered pests and the little guy was just laying in the chicken coop dead. It's sad, but it happens.

Mom bought some of those horrible mousetraps today. She actually caught a mouse this evening. I heard the horrendous snap from here. Instead of catching its head like it's supposed to, the trap crush a little mousy leg. Angelbrokenwingz and I took it out side to take care of the "problem." How did we take care of it? I will never tell.

Babies
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Life
My oldest brother just got a shipment of babies today. He brought them right over to give them water. They are so cute and fuzzy. Oh, and their goslings. He bought a dozen of the little guys. Now my nose is running and I'm miserable. I am apparently allergic to the stuff they were sent in. And ofcourse I couldn't resist the temptation to rub a little fuzzy goosy head against my cheek.

He then took them right home to get them under a lamp so they won't perish. I like little animals. They are so adorable. Plus I'll have more geese to chase around!